Establishing a personal Style?

[quiet1]

My life has gone through some major changes lately, and in addition I've lost a lot of weight, so I find myself in a position of basically needing to buy the better part of a whole new wardrobe.

The trouble is I feel a bit overwhelmed and not quite sure what sort of things to buy.

Basically since I was a teenager I've been working as a personal care assistant for my husband in our own home (until he passed away last year) and as I have very sensitive skin anyway, my clothing choices have generally be in the category of 'easy to wear and move in and comfortable', which means lots of sweat/yoga pants and tshirts. And since he needed care 24 hours a day, we didn't get out that much, so I didn't have a lot of need for anything dressier or more professional, since casual clothes like that are just fine for running to the supermarket.

I'd like to take adavantage of having to replace my wardrobe anyway to develop a sort of personal style and build up a collection of things which are flattering and look good on me, however as I said I'm not sure where to start. This is compounded by the fact that some of the styles I like are a bit over the top for me personally for daily wear (for example I like the gothic look, but I don't want to spend every day like that. :) ) I also like the 40s/50s swing era styles, but again, that'd probably be a bit much for me every day.

Any ideas on how I can take the things that I like and encorporate them into a personal style that's not so unusal as to be weird-looking (as in "look what that freak is wearing") but is also still me?

[Kitten]

You could buy some simple dresses that are 50's in style (or make if you can sew www.Simplicity.com (http://www.Simplicity.com) - check out New Look too). If you make them you could do black and/or white which could be more gothic looking. I've found that a simple dress (read "easy to sew" :happy: ) can be made unique looking by lace and ribbon (for example you could add ribbon wrapped around the empire waist of fitted dress w/ a full skirt ) as well as different fabric prints. Good jeans are important to me. I also love tanks and camis b/c its so hot here and I like to go casual a lot. What else do you like?

[summer-time]

When you say you like the goth 'style' are you talking color or a certain look?

Goth is really color: a black base color and then adding from there- jeweled tones or other dark colors- navy, gray, purple, reds.
T's or tops and pants and/or jeans work- whatever you like or feel comfortable with. :)

Go looking and try on until you find tops and jeans/pants that you like.

I like tanks/ halters, tops and jeans and I'm trying to incorporate more casual skirts.:)

[quiet1]

When you say you like the goth 'style' are you talking color or a certain look?


A bit of both. I tend to gothy colours as a general rule (my wardrobe is kind of... black, black, and more black, with the odd bit of red or dark blue) but I'm a little bored with black tshirts and black pants all the time. :)

As far as a goth look goes, that's more what I'm talking about with being too over the top for general wear, since I tend to like corsets and unusual boots. :) I know some people are comfortable going out 'gothed up' as it were, with make up and everything, but, well, I'm too lazy to get that dressed up all the time. :)

I'm also not sure if I should try to break out of my 'mostly black' comfort zone a bit, colour-wise. Sometimes I think I should, but every time I go shopping I just gravitate towards the black stuff anyway. :)

[quiet1]

You could buy some simple dresses that are 50's in style (or make if you can sew www.Simplicity.com (http://www.Simplicity.com) - check out New Look too). If you make them you could do black and/or white which could be more gothic looking. I've found that a simple dress (read "easy to sew" :happy: ) can be made unique looking by lace and ribbon (for example you could add ribbon wrapped around the empire waist of fitted dress w/ a full skirt ) as well as different fabric prints. Good jeans are important to me. I also love tanks and camis b/c its so hot here and I like to go casual a lot. What else do you like?

That's a good idea with the ribbon. (I do sew, and I actually have a wrap-style dress pattern waiting for me because I haven't wanted to start on it while I've still been wanting to lose more weight. :) ) Depending on how you attach it, you could make it quite easy to swap for something else, too, for another look.

I'm trying to work myself up to a major jeans buying expedition, since I have NO idea what cut or style is likely to flatter me best these days. Where's a good place to go in the US for that? When I was younger everyone got their jeans at the Gap. :) (I'll be in the US in August, so I'm planning to do a bunch of shopping then, since it's cheaper. :) )

Part of the trouble is probably that I don't really know what else I like. Saying what I don't like (on people wandering past, mostly) is much easier. *grin* (Where I live, the 'muffin top' look is still out in force, and also the 'trousers with a skirt on top' look, which just confuses me.) Maybe I should try flipping through some fashion magazines and see if they appeal enough to buy a few and start a scrapbook. Or are there any good webpages for that kind of thing?

[summer-time]

A bit of both. I tend to gothy colours as a general rule (my wardrobe is kind of... black, black, and more black, with the odd bit of red or dark blue) but I'm a little bored with black tshirts and black pants all the time. :)

As far as a goth look goes, that's more what I'm talking about with being too over the top for general wear, since I tend to like corsets and unusual boots. :) I know some people are comfortable going out 'gothed up' as it were, with make up and everything, but, well, I'm too lazy to get that dressed up all the time. :)

I'm also not sure if I should try to break out of my 'mostly black' comfort zone a bit, colour-wise. Sometimes I think I should, but every time I go shopping I just gravitate towards the black stuff anyway. :)







I understand about dressing up, your right, some do like corsets and boots every day. As for the black you do wear, I'm like you, I always gravitate toward black. What I started doing, instead of black I started buying purples- which is another fav color, and also grays and some blues. It gave my closet some color, black is still my color but I'm a little more colorful now.


I would just start going to clothing stores, department stores and see whats out there. Try things on, see what fits and what you like.

[quiet1]

I understand about dressing up, your right, some do like corsets and boots every day. As for the black you do wear, I'm like you, I always gravitate toward black. What I started doing, instead of black I started buying purples- which is another fav color, and also grays and some blues. It gave my closet some color, black is still my color but I'm a little more colorful now.

I would just start going to clothing stores, department stores and see whats out there. Try things on, see what fits and what you like.

I need to find someone to go shopping with me who'll slap my hands if I keep trying on black things. (The problem is most of my friends are, if not goth, at least fairly into the goth aesthetic, so they're all for the black. I don't think they quite understand the 'boredom' issue.)

I'm planning on visiting some outlet store type places when I'm in the US next month, so hopefully I'll find some good things there. I suppose what I'm trying to do at the moment is a mental exercise as much as anything- try to get myself thinking outside my habits so when I do go shopping I don't restrict myself to the same old things. :)

[summer-time]

I need to find someone to go shopping with me who'll slap my hands if I keep trying on black things. (The problem is most of my friends are, if not goth, at least fairly into the goth aesthetic, so they're all for the black. I don't think they quite understand the 'boredom' issue.)

I'm planning on visiting some outlet store type places when I'm in the US next month, so hopefully I'll find some good things there. I suppose what I'm trying to do at the moment is a mental exercise as much as anything- try to get myself thinking outside my habits so when I do go shopping I don't restrict myself to the same old things. :)



I do that too. Start thinking about other colors that appeal to you.
Do you ever look at fashion mags- you might look at a few for ideas on clothing designs- not runway but like a womans mags- check out the pics in them and see what the woman are wearing- you know 'mainstream'- I'm not mainstream either but it will give you an idea.
There are alot of pastels- not my thing
Bring a friend thats open to exploring other dark colors besides black- that will open the door. :)


Something else- start looking over websites to get ideas.
I have many goth websites too if your interested.

[quiet1]

I do that too. Start thinking about other colors that appeal to you.
Do you ever look at fashion mags- you might look at a few for ideas on clothing designs- not runway but like a womans mags- check out the pics in them and see what the woman are wearing- you know 'mainstream'- I'm not mainstream either but it will give you an idea.
There are alot of pastels- not my thing
Bring a friend thats open to exploring other dark colors besides black- that will open the door. :)


Something else- start looking over websites to get ideas.
I have many goth websites too if your interested.

I bought a couple of fashion magazines today to have a look through. There were a couple of things that had promise. :) Website recommendations are always great, though. :)

[summer-time]

I bought a couple of fashion magazines today to have a look through. There were a couple of things that had promise. :) Website recommendations are always great, though. :)


I don't know mainstream very well.


http://darklinks.com/

I'm not exactly helping with getting away from black but there are shops in here that are eclectic goth

This is a consignment goth store- although they do have new as well. I have bought tanks from here

http://www.velvetgarden.net/


New and second hand

Mechanical Bunny

http://mechanicalbunny.com/oscmax/


Just to name a few



* check your pm*

[Dulci]

I need to find someone to go shopping with me who'll slap my hands if I keep trying on black things. (The problem is most of my friends are, if not goth, at least fairly into the goth aesthetic, so they're all for the black. I don't think they quite understand the 'boredom' issue.)

I'm planning on visiting some outlet store type places when I'm in the US next month, so hopefully I'll find some good things there. I suppose what I'm trying to do at the moment is a mental exercise as much as anything- try to get myself thinking outside my habits so when I do go shopping I don't restrict myself to the same old things. :)

ohoh, I'd love to go shopping with you! :lafhard: Let me know if you are coming to Austin, Teacherbear and I will take you to the outlet malls and shop your shoes off. We got her a whole new wardrobe last summer after she lost a lot of weight and needed new work clothes, we did a great job. :grinhappy:

One thing I am working on for myself is trying on things that I don't even like on the hanger, I've been surprised a few times and loved it!

[Abanilla_Surfer]

Have you ever watched What Not to Wear? They have lots of advice for different body shapes and problem areas. They have a couple of books from the series that you might be able to get at the library.

It's important to try things on. You won't know how it looks on you until you see it. Don't ignore stuff, try everything. Don't rely on shopkeepers for advice - they want you to buy stuff and that's it.

Maybe buy a couple of goth pieces that you can wear for special occasions (a corest and unusual skirt would look great for a party or trip to a restaurant) and try more mainstream versions for everyday. A nice pair of bootleg trousers and a blouse, T-shirt or sweater is a comfortable basic outfit that can be dressed up or down with accessories (think trainers or heels? funky belt or classy jewelry?) You could get a dark-coloured suit in a great style and wear different tops depending on your mood.

Be wary of buying lots of things because you want a certain image and then reverting to the jogging pants you're used to because they're comfortable. Try and be practical with your decisions and check care instructions.

Don't forget if you are wearing different colours your makeup will probably need an overhaul too.

Oh, and have fun. I always find that when I hit the store with cash there is nothing I want and when I'm strapped there's loads that catches my eye. Do be discouraged if you can't find everything your first trip out. Set yourself a monthly budget and go shopping often!

[quiet1]

Have you ever watched What Not to Wear? They have lots of advice for different body shapes and problem areas. They have a couple of books from the series that you might be able to get at the library.

It's important to try things on. You won't know how it looks on you until you see it. Don't ignore stuff, try everything. Don't rely on shopkeepers for advice - they want you to buy stuff and that's it.

Maybe buy a couple of goth pieces that you can wear for special occasions (a corest and unusual skirt would look great for a party or trip to a restaurant) and try more mainstream versions for everyday. A nice pair of bootleg trousers and a blouse, T-shirt or sweater is a comfortable basic outfit that can be dressed up or down with accessories (think trainers or heels? funky belt or classy jewelry?) You could get a dark-coloured suit in a great style and wear different tops depending on your mood.

Be wary of buying lots of things because you want a certain image and then reverting to the jogging pants you're used to because they're comfortable. Try and be practical with your decisions and check care instructions.

Don't forget if you are wearing different colours your makeup will probably need an overhaul too.

Oh, and have fun. I always find that when I hit the store with cash there is nothing I want and when I'm strapped there's loads that catches my eye. Do be discouraged if you can't find everything your first trip out. Set yourself a monthly budget and go shopping often!

I do have one of the What Not To Wear books (well, the UK show version, I've never seen the US version) but most of the advice regarding silhouettes and so on is stuff I'd already figured out. (Things like if you're very busty, high necklines just make you look bigger in a Bad Way, and wrap tops are Good, for example. :) )

I'm trying to figure out my makeup, too, so at least I can do a full overhaul all at once. :) (I keep meaning to find some pink eyeshadow to try, as I've seen it make blue eyes look FABULOUS if done right, and it's not too obvious.)

I am most concerned with the issue you mentioned of buying things and then ending up wearing just jogging pants all the time anyway- I'm going to try to remember that comfort is important. (And I'm also planning on buying some items which are a bit nicer than sweatpants but still mainly around the house wear, so I can be comfy while I'm kicking around the house but still not look like a slob if I have to run out to the store or something.)

The trouble I seem to be having is really taking all the things I know and pulling them together into some kind of vision for what I want, so I don't end up buying lots of things where none of them go together, or alternatively defaulting to buying black everything because it's easier than deciding on colours. :)

[eiyela]

Try putting a list together for yourself before you go on your big shopping spree. That will keep you from getting confused or lazy. I think you've gotten some good advice here so far (I personally love the UK version WNTW body checker thingamajig too:whoohoo: ), so maybe start with those and add whatever comes to mind for the next week or so?

[Abanilla_Surfer]

The trouble I seem to be having is really taking all the things I know and pulling them together into some kind of vision for what I want, so I don't end up buying lots of things where none of them go together, or alternatively defaulting to buying black everything because it's easier than deciding on colours. :)

I have this problem too. I have several differnt "looks" depending on my mood, the weather, the laundry basket....

That said, I think you should concentrate on what celebrity styles you like. I always think Jennifer Aniston looks great most of the time. I like clean lines and neutral colours. I also like natural looking makeup. Catherine on CSI Las Vegas always looks well put together. I have others but can't think now. Who always looks good to you? Why? Can you copy them? Stand in the shop and think "Can I see (star's name here) wearing this?" Pick a group for everyday and a group for evening wear. You often come up with completely different names.

My red carpet list would be Catherine Zeta-Jones, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Lopez. But I certainly wouldn't go out in J-Lo's daywear. (I'm not dissing her, it's just not me.)

You also have to make your mind up that you are not leaving the house in jog pants. Even if it means a quick change before you go. Promise yourself. I have loads of pants & sweaters that I mix & match for work and home. Being part-time means I have to be smart enough for the office and comfy enough to play at the park with the children. Daywear for me has to work in both those situations, if it doesn't I walk away.

[quiet1]

That said, I think you should concentrate on what celebrity styles you like. I always think Jennifer Aniston looks great most of the time. I like clean lines and neutral colours. I also like natural looking makeup. Catherine on CSI Las Vegas always looks well put together. I have others but can't think now. Who always looks good to you? Why? Can you copy them? Stand in the shop and think "Can I see (star's name here) wearing this?" Pick a group for everyday and a group for evening wear. You often come up with completely different names.

You also have to make your mind up that you are not leaving the house in jog pants. Even if it means a quick change before you go. Promise yourself. I have loads of pants & sweaters that I mix & match for work and home. Being part-time means I have to be smart enough for the office and comfy enough to play at the park with the children. Daywear for me has to work in both those situations, if it doesn't I walk away.

That's a good idea, about celebrities. Though I don't watch tv that much these days, so I'm not sure what people are out and about in (except the ones who get splashed on the front of tabloid magazines that you see while you're in line at the supermarket, but I'm not sure I want to emulate any of them. *G*) do you know of any good websites for seeing what celebs are wearing? (I know awards show-wear is relatively easy to find, but not so much normal stuff.)

I'm definitely trying to break myself of the habit of slouching around in effectively pyjamas all day (sweatpants, pyjama-style trousers, tshirts, etc.) when I'm not expecting to leave the house, because I'm sure it's bad for my mental health and encourages me to be lazy. :) Though at the moment almost everything looks a little sloppy and baggy on me, due to weight loss. Argh! (Then again, this is why I'm planning on shopping soon, and thus debating these things. :) )

[Abanilla_Surfer]

You must have lost loads of weight for all your clothes to be so big on you. You should start a thread with some tips for the rest of us. I don't know of any sites offhand but I will certainly have a look and let you know if I find any.

[quiet1]

You must have lost loads of weight for all your clothes to be so big on you. You should start a thread with some tips for the rest of us. I don't know of any sites offhand but I will certainly have a look and let you know if I find any.

About 30 lbs. so far. 10-20 to go. (At this point I'm more going by what's comfortable and maintainable for me, rather than a fixed weight goal.) Unfortunately, I'm not sure how it happened- the only significant change I've made to my eating habits has been cutting out soda almost completely. (I allow myself one single serving bottle as a treat maybe every 2-3 weeks, but that's it.)

Other than that, I try to eat sensibly- I frequently have a salad-with-grilled-meat for dinner, or something like that, with lots of vegetables, but nothing dramatic. :)

[Rose_Red]

I went through my full-on goth phase quite a few years back, and have never grown out of a lot of it ;) The corsets and boots in my wardrobe will attest to that!

However, I've also toned down what I wear a lot. Partially out of laziness ;) And partially out of actually wanting to be comfortable sometimes!

My basic style is this: long flowing skirts, boots or mary jane style shoes, and fitted tops. Add a velvet jacket if it's cool.

I've actually tended to veer a lot from my personal style over the last year or so - mainly because I gained a lot of weight (for me) and I've been more into hiding in nondescript jeans and baggy shirts. I'm determined to get "me" back again - both weight and style wise.

[summer-time]

Quiet1, I hope all is well with you :)


I don't think there's a certain goth attire/style that all goths need to follow. Imho its whatever the individual likes. I myself love dark colors with black as my staple , I wear alot of jeans and tops. I'm trying to incorporate my casual dress/skirts into my closet but I'm picky about my clothes. :)