Dear old Dad

[Celogrl]

For anyone who does not know (due to our poor LHC site's trouble), I lost my sweet Dad on Valentine's Day last week. His passing was a peaceful, amazing gift; it was very fast, I do not believe he suffered, and I was holding his sweet hand and supporting him on his final earthly journey. We have now finished two funerals, one in MD and one in VA, and he would have been (and I am sure he is!) proud of how his family conducted themselves in his memory. You know, it was always "Dad and me", each and every day, and I feel so honored that he let me be there when he passed on. I'm thrilled for him because his tired worn out body is no longer a source of pain and weariness to him, but sad for all of us who go on without him here. I feel his spirit around me though, and we did exactly what he wanted in letting him go.

I know many of you know of this already, so I hope no one minds I repeated it here, but I feel that so many friends "knew" Dad already, so I wanted to let them also know of the passing of this great man.

Much love and many hugs to all of you!:soppy:

[Pegasus Marsters]

I'm amazed at the composure you display here and how you speak of your fathers passing. I hope you're right and he is at peace now... I'm coming to terms with the death of a friend who passed on the 2nd of this month... he was a father figure to me (you may be aware that my father walked out on me when I was a pre-teen) and I loved him very dearly. I wish that I could cope with the same composure that you are displaying.

[SilverLocks]

You are a light Celogrl.

Blessings to Dad, he was a joy to know through you.
His spirit is free. Your sharing is love and freedom itself.
Thank you.
Blessings and Love to you.:soppy:

[jessie58]

Although I knew this already, I just want to offer you more hugs Betsy. We all got to know your Dad from reading about him in your journal and he was such a sweet man. We'll miss him too.

[Velvettt]

Words fail me. Blessings be on you now.

[Lamb]

Your father was blessed with a wonderful daughter and I am sure he knew it. May he rest in peace.
(((Hugs))) to you!

[Liluri]

I miss my Dad, and I'm a bit choked up by your post. I'm not sure I let my Dad pass with such Grace. Thank you for posting

[DavidN]

Oh, (((Betsy))), my heart breaks for you and your family. I am so sorry to hear this heartbreaking news, and I know how close you were to your dad from all of your journal writings.. Blessings to you and all of your family.:flower:

[AutumnLeaves]

You and your Dad are still in my thoughts and heart, Betsy. Thank you so much for sharing his sweetness with us. I know he lives on in you...

[Carolyn]

I'm so sorry, Betsy. A big hug for you. I'm so glad your dad's passing was so peaceful and loving. How wonderful you were there to ease his transition from this world to the next one. I'd like to thank you for sharing his last months with us. He was one cute guy!

[harley mama]

You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers sweetie. Warm hugs to you!

[Chrissy]

This may sound strange but I'm so happy for you. What a blessing you got to be with your Dad as he passed. I missed that opportunity with my Dad as he lived two hours away. We didn't get to the hospital in time to do that. I'm blessed by your post. There are so many people (including me) who didn't have the best father in their lives. It's healing to my heart to hear your words regarding your relationship with him. I'm sure he's very proud of you!! Thanks for sharing something so personal. Hugs and healing thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

[frannyg]

Your grace, strength and dignity have me in awe. How fitting that you helped ease your father through his transition from this earth, just as he helped ease your transition into this earth.

You continue and ever will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[SarieQ]

This may sound strange but I'm so happy for you. What a blessing you got to be with your Dad as he passed. I missed that opportunity with my Dad as he lived two hours away. We didn't get to the hospital in time to do that. I'm blessed by your post. There are so many people (including me) who didn't have the best father in their lives. It's healing to my heart to hear your words regarding your relationship with him. I'm sure he's very proud of you!! Thanks for sharing something so personal. Hugs and healing thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

My heart aches for your pain, but as Chrissy said, I am also happy for you! (((HUGS)))) to you and your family. I can just feel the closeness you had with your dad in the words you posted. What a wonderful thing to have such a friend in your father. It makes me wish LHC was up so I could read your journal!

My Dad passed when I was fifteen and we got to the hospital seconds after he went. I never got to say goodbye nor have a lifelong relationship with him. I was still a kid and never got to have intellectual type talks with him. There are so many things I wish I could have asked him and known about him, but I never will. He was a veteran of the Vietnam war and in the army for twenty one years. He lived all over the world. All this before he met my mother and settled on a farm in the midwest. He was born in '29 and would just be a wealth of knowledge, having actually lived during the depression and all. After his death, my history class studied 1920 until 1975 and I studied it as though I was connecting with him because it was stuff he lived through. My mother isn't the intelectual/thinking type as I am--I got that from my Dad. I can't have those kind of conversations with her and so I feel really cheated at times.

[Celogrl]

Thank you all so very much. Chrissy, it did not sound strange to me at all what you said. It's been a couple of years, but Dad lived in our home then an assisted living when things got to be overwhelming and I was there every day with minor exceptions, and on those days, my sweet DH was there. I feel blessed to have been there, "cheering" him on as he passed. Obviously, I was crying a LOT, but literally the first words out of my mouth when the nurse kindly told me he was gone was first I burst into tears, and as I held his hand I said "Dad, I am SO happy for you!" and I meant it. His body had become an unnatural shell to him that was letting him down. He missed Mom so badly, and I am amazed that he managed to last nearly 3 years without her.

I am touched and amazed and say in all humility that it's a bit shocking to hear myself described in words like grace, strength, dignity and the like. I am just trying to honor my family by being as Dad had taught us to be. He used to tell me two things and I remember them so much now! "Betsy, you're a class act, and you've got guts!" When I entered the work force at age 17, he also gave me this advice: "Bets, when you're a Bednar, you keep your chin up, give them an honest day's work, keep your nose clean, and don't kiss anyone's a$$! You don't have to!" That's my Dad! This may sound a bit strange, but I really do feel my Dad's love all around me still. I am drawing on my faith as well. I have my good cries then I am okay till the next one. The strength of you, my friends, has also been a Godsend. I am surprised at how overwhelmingly tired I am. It's been quite a journey and it is not over yet.

I thank and send loving hugs to all of you.

For anyone who would l ike to see 'dear old Dad's obituary and/or feel free to add a Guest Book entry, we'd be honored.

http://www.legacy.com/washingtonpost/DeathNotices.asp?Page=SearchResults&txtLastName=Bednar&submit1=Go

[TammySue]

Bless your heart. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Coppercurls]

Your grace, strength and dignity have me in awe. How fitting that you helped ease your father through his transition from this earth, just as he helped ease your transition into this earth.

You continue and ever will be in my thoughts and prayers.

frannyg, that is so beautiful. I am glad that you put those words here for Celogrl to see. I wanted to say something to this affect & you did it so wonderfully.

Celogrl you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Flaxen]

Please accept my most heartfelt condolences, Celogrl. :flower:

[Koala Kim]

You and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. http://bestsmileys.com/hugging/6.gif

[Teacherbear]

Celogirl, you and your family are in my prayers! Your Dad sounds like a wonderful man and a real blessing! (((hugs)))

[Nastasska]

((((((Hugs)))))) I'm so sorry

[AquaViolet1973]

I am so sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))
My dad died 9 years ago due to a brain tumor he had. I know how much it hurts to lose a parent.

[jessie58]

Hi Betsy, just popping in to say I just admire your composure so much and send you more hugs today. Also some hugs for your DH too.

[Celogrl]

I sure do appreciate all the kindness you have shown, everyone. The reality of it all is settling in right now, and I knew it would be kind of hard. DH and I went out for a while this afternoon and we had a lovely time (he really is my best friend!) but we both agreed that it felt totally different without Dad being along. I had this weird, surreal sense of leaving Dad out, like we were being disloyal somehow for not including him. I know, it's strange. It's just going to take a lot of time, and I know it. He was SO much a part of everything, all day long, and sometimes the nights too because his needs were great. I still have an extreme sense of peace though knowing he is at rest finally. He deserved it. I just have to do the work of grief, and it feels like work! It's a lot to wrap my head around. I know I'm not alone, and everyone has been so kind. ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

[SilverLocks]

Peace to you, it's probably just sinking in now, get some rest and surround yourself with loving spaces, nature and such. <<<Hugs>>>

[harley mama]

Just wanted to pop in and send you a bunch of warm hugs Celogrl!

[darian moone]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Celogrl. My thoughts are with you. :flower: