Wedding outfit advice...

[Pegasus Marsters]

My aunt's getting married in July so I'm going to need a dress to wear. I think if I showed up in anything other than a dress my grandmother might have a heart attack or something freaking out at me.

Problem with this... I have tattoos on my shoulders and my family (other than mother) do not know about them. Infact i've kept them deliberately hidden since I got them to save myself grief.

The trouble is now that it's impossible to find a cute dress without shoulders and as the wedding is in the summer I'm concerned about overheating if I wear a shrug. I HATE having my arms covered as it is.

So what do I do? Can someone help me find an adorable dress that keeps the shoulders covered (I'm thinking pale blue for the colour but if you can make me a better offer that's cool). I'd also preferabley like it at a tea length... if it's too long it seems too formal for me.

Or do I just need to suck it up and accept the royal ball breaking I'm going to get for having them and just show them?

Help me people. Please.

[Euphony]

Can you get (or make) a shrug out of lace or something that will breath well but cover? It would have to be pretty tight lace so depending on the weather that not be cool enough.

Do you think it would be a lot of grief? Really it's none of their business whether or not you have tattoos, buuuuuut this is someone's wedding, if the grief was a lot then you might become the center of attention, and I'm sure you don't want that. What a dilemma!

[jennysdreaming]

Unless you plan on hiding the tats forever I'd take the ball breaking and be done with it, although I think I'd do it before the wedding so as not to have that drama on your aunt's day. If they are going to go into a tizzy they will do it wether or not you are 17 or if you hide it for the next 10 years. I have a tat on my shoulder blade that I love and wore a strapless wedding dress that I also loved and all my mother could say was "It's just too bad that "that" had to show". I was 35. I realize many people don't appreciate my tattoos and some of those people I even share blood with but I happen to love them so that's all that matters. So my advice is to find a gorgeous dress and if the tattoos show then hold your head proud and let them show.

ETA: also if I remember right your tattoos are an angel and a devil aren't they? If I am remembering correctly I thought they were very well done and tasteful and I wouldn't think twice about showing them.

[LisaJaney]

Pegs, I'm going to think about this for awhile (the TYPE of dress, and looking for one.) But seriously: do you really think that a Forty-Four year old YANK is going to come up with "just the dress" that you would LIKE? Yeah, that's what I thought.

What I'd really like to address is the notion that you already tackled and the direction you're leaning is the RIGHT direction: it is good to NOT cause a stir at the wedding. A wedding is the BRIDE's day to shine, and anyone who dares to upstage her (in dress or in "noteworthiness"/scandal) deserves a sound thrashing with a buggywhip. I encourage you to go with your gut: save yourself and your family the...how'd you say it? Royal Ball-Breaking? Spare them and yourself that scene and find a dress that would cover what needs to be covered at the wedding. Let your Aunt shine on that day.

If you feel a need to engage in the Ball-Breaking, do it at Christmas or something equally spectacular, but let your Aunt have this one day to remember with only fond memories of you and how lovely you look. :nods:

Oh, and take the goat with you. ;)

[Nat242]

How about finding a nice dress and a light, transparent-ish shrug/wrap to match, and covering your tattoos with body makeup? It can be done.

[snowbear]

http://www.collectif.co.uk/ has some retro-but-modest dreses.

http://mikarose.com has modest dresses, but it's not a UK site. I'm not sure if the money you'd save with the exchange rate would cover your shipping costs.

[kwaniesiam]

Have you thought about using makeup to cover the tats? Dermablend I've heard works well for that. Here's a great example http://modblog.bmezine.com/2008/02/14/the-magic-of-dermablend/

[Liluri]

I'd actually look at getting something made, I'm not sure how the UK is for dressmakers but there are reasonabe prices in OZ, having an idea is a good starting point and then you can have something funky with your tattoos covered up at the some time.

[Cinnamon Hair]

No real advice about which dress to choose, but I would be fearful of buying a dress online. At least make sure to order it soon enough that you can send it back and get another if it doesn't fit right. For me, dresses are harder to fit and look good in than anything, except maybe jeans. For example, if the dress is really pretty on the model, but she has a large chest and you don't, it's likely to look like crap on you (I know this from experience!). Which means damn near every dress I try on looks like crap.

Also, do you know you won't be asked to be a bridesmaid? It would suck to buy one dress then find out your aunt has another in mind.

[Miss Murphy]

Pegs, I think not causing a commotion at the wedding is the best way to go.

I found a couple of dresses (though none are light blue, I'm afraid) that would cover your shoulders but still look breezy:
http://www.asos.com/Asos/Satin-Tie-Ruffle-Wrap-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=230428&cid=4168&clr=Blue&Rf-200=3&sh=0
http://www.asos.com/Asos/Pleated-Low-Back-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=232019&cid=4168&clr=Blue&Rf-200=3&sh=0
http://www.asos.com/Kirsten-Dunst/Asos/Silk-Wrap-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=229689&cid=4168&clr=Grey&Rf-100=Evening%20Dresses&sh=0

Alternatively, you could check out this seller:
http://stores.ebay.co.uk/TopRunway

She makes hand-tailored clothes according to your measurements. I have ordered 2 suits, 3 skirts and 1 dress from her, and the quality is very good. She is also open to suggestions (longer hemline, shorter/longer sleeves) etc, and also tells you if she can make a dress after a photo (from a magazine or such) you send her.

[Isilme]

Two suggesions-why not wear something that shows your tats before the big day, and if you aunt gets upset, wear something that will cover them for her wedding. If she seems ok with your tats, ask her if she wants you to cover them for her wedding or not. Or if you can find a nice dress without too much trouble, that would be a good way to go. Have you looked in those wedding and proom shops?

[Pegasus Marsters]

I'm certain I wont be bridesmaid, my aunt has decided she doesn't want any. I'm not atall bitter about this >_> *blatent lies*

The only time I'm likely to see the whole family together is the 1st of March for a mass birthday thing (mine, my mothers and my grandmothers birthdays are all within a week of eachother) and I'm not entirely sure I'll get up the guts to expose them by then. *is cowardly*

Thanks for all the dress suggestions guys, checking those sites out now! ^.^

[peacecat3]

I was going to suggest maybe some "vintage" types of dresses, maybe without sleeves or just cap sleeves, but still shoulder covering. I agree with the not-upstaging-the-bride thing.

Of course, you realize now that you must post pics of the dress, right? Right. :innocent:

[atlantaz3]

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2919850/0~2378467~2378483~2378745?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=2378745&P=3
I think this would be age appropriate for you, not fitted and cover up the "tats". Plus I think it's kind of cute - it would probably be easy to make if you are inclined to sew your own. The other suggestion I have is a classic Jackie O Sheath dress. http://www.anntaylor.com/catalog/category.jsp?Ne=19&pCategoryId=101&Ns=CATEGORY_SEQ_180&N=1200003+4294967242&Nty=1&categoryId=180&cm_mmc_o=7BBTkwj-EEazYkByCjCKywllwljKywllwl+C+mfYkwlCjCPyBzpCjCltwz ft+pywll%7CC%7CviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiNoxDo&gclid=CP_e-Yj41ZECFQM-IgodQF7RYg
Ann Taylor has a lot of classic style dresses on her web site.
Good luck

[Pegasus Marsters]

Ok guys I've had a thought... I've totally fallen in love with a pair of sketchers sandals that have a cherry print on them... and I was thinking about wearing a matching dress for her wedding. Would that be totally unnacceptable? I'm thinking like a halter style dress and then I could wear a red shrug of some kind with it? The dress needs to have a white background with the cherries over it so it matches the shoes. IF someone could even just find me some cherry print fabric that would work.

[funnybunny668]

Here's a really cute short sleeved vintage/retro dress with cherries on a white background. They even ship internationally.

http://www.babygirlboutique.com/lg-cherries-swing-dress.html

[Pegasus Marsters]

Thats a great dress, FB (though the skirts longer than I'd like.. though I'm sure once you put it on me it'll look shorter... long legs!) but I'm afraid it's out of my price range. *sigh* I hate being poor.

[VanillaTresses]

Here's another cherry dress, only shorter:
http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/cherrydress3.html

[Pegasus Marsters]

I saw that too Vanillatresses... unfortunately it doesn't come in my size (which is a small btw)... I'm now thinking of making my own dress. I've found some cherry print fabric for $8 a yard and I'm sure I could make something perfect.

[kimberlily]

Pegs, dear, you sew, don't you? Do you have time to make something?

[Pegasus Marsters]

Yes I sew, KL^.^ I'm not sure I sew very well but I do sew. The wedding is in july which should be plenty of time to make something but I'm just so damn unsure of what exactly I want my dress to look like.

[kimberlily]

Grr, snarl. I wrote up a post and closed the window before submitting it.

Anyway, I came up with these two that would look fantastic on you, cover your ink, and be easy to sew...

This one (http://www.simplicitynewlook.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=23_24_60&products_id=4510) is a modern twist on a 1950's style shirt dress.

And this (http://www.simplicitynewlook.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=23_24_60&products_id=4234) would be cute on you too(the sleeveless one on the bottom right - your tattoos would be covered since it has a high back and is sleeveless, but wide at the shoulders).

[Pegasus Marsters]

I LOVE the second one Kimberlily. Omg I love it so much it's so pretty! ^.^ Thank youuuuu. I think I'll ask mummy for the pattern. But I need to pick a colour to wear.

Suggestions people! Suggest colours. You've all seen pics of me, you'll know what'll work.

[kimberlily]

I'm glad you liked my suggestion :D

Colours... Green. Blue. My work here is done ;)

[merlin]

Can I be a wee bit controversial here (cries of "no" and "surely not")?

You have tatoos
You have great shoulders and neck (go and look at your facebook photos if you've forgotten this)
Both of these are 'you' and I don't think there is a problem with your tatoos being visible, they're not uncommon on girls these days and yours are in no way outrageous.
Why should you have to hide one because of the other?

The other simple thing about weddings is that, like any family gathering, some members of the family are going to offend other members of the family - if it's not you and your tatoos it's going to be some other thing...

So my suggestion would be to ring your aunt and check with her about your tatoos; tell her that you've got some, that the dress you'd like to wear will leave them visible, and does she mind? My guess is that you're invited because she wants you there, and isn't going to care too hoots if you've got tatoos or not.

Then go and get/make the dress you want to wear, which will be comforable and show you to be the stunning woman we all know that you are.

Let's face it, if you still had peroxide streaks, and you knew that some people in your family hated bottle-blondes, would they expect you to dye them out? Of if they hated long hair would you cut it? So what's different about your tatoos?

1, 2, 3 all together now....
You're not here to decorate somebody else's world

[LisaJaney]

Merlin, I am going to slap you. This summer, I swear it. You are a bad influence, you know! Pegs, don't listen to him, he's out of his mind...he's been bitten by a terrapin. :ha!:

Seriously, though, while I'd normally tend to agree with him, the whole "this is someone else's wedding" aspect puts a different slant on it for me (And I gotta say: I personally HATE that "I'm not here to decorate your world" sentiment, as I think it's too-often used as a cop-out to cover egregious behavior/presentation, plus the pure selfishness of it just grates on me. When MY rights/freedoms infringe on YOUR rights/freedoms, then we have a problem, and it's no longer "exercising my right to express myself", but INFLICTING my selfishness on your mental-territory, and unless there's something MORAL (or legal) to be gained from doing so, then it just boils down to selfish pettiness IMO.)

When it's PEGS' wedding, then she can go naked if she wants, regardless WHO is offended. She's the bride on that day, she does what SHE wants. :twocents:

Merlin, get over here -- it's time for that SLAP! (nah, Sept is better)

[kimberlily]

Much as I agree with Merlin in the "it's your body, and the tattoos are part of you" sentiment, I'm on board with Lisa here. Someone's wedding isn't the best place to reveal your tattoos if you think someone in the family might not approve. And I really think that Pegs feels that way too, otherwise she wouldn't have started this thread ;)

[merlin]

Ouch! I consider myself slapped!

On a serious note, you'll see that I said to check with the person whose wedding it is - they're the people you need to avoid upsetting.

The most nerve-wracking thing I ever did was to be best man for the guy who was my best man, I was agonizing over my speech (this is far tougher than getting married, trust me) and he said "Look, let me give you the advice somebody gave me before your wedding. You cannot avoid offending people at the wedding, they are a large group and frankly the only thing they have in common is that they are in some way linked with one of the people getting married. Just avoid offending the happy couple and just live with the fact that after the wedding several people will hate you forever!"

To my mind, so long as the bride and groom don't care about Peg's tatoos - then the opinion of the woman who once fed great aunt Jemima's dog and who had to be invited because she invited the groom's mother to her daughter's wedding (anybody who's ever got married in the UK will recognize this scenario!) really isn't worth wearing a second-choice dress over.

[snowbear]

When it's PEGS' wedding, then she can go naked if she wants...
Oh, she probably would, too. :streaking:

[LisaJaney]

OH! I see what you're saying better now, Merlin! (and you ain't seen NOTHIN' yet -- I really will slap you! If you bring a bat, I maybe won't...just something to consider...) Too funny. Yeah, it does seem that any time you've got a whole group together, somebody's nose will be bent out of shape at some point. The trick, as I've always seen it, is to keep those things quiet and never let the Bride and Groom know a thing about it, and minimize the damage. (save it for Christmas or something - ha!)

Last family wedding *I* went to was hubs' family (now THAT is a group! Some of 'em, anyhow) There was a lady there who felt compelled to video-tape everything and make borderline-lewd and openly suggestive comments to...well, just about anyone within earshot, but particularly to those with boy-parts. I feared she'd tackle the caterer right there on the floor. I found it tacky and rude, but that's just how she is, I hear, so I just smiled and told Hubs, "Is it time to leave yet? Before I hit her in the kisser?" :innocent blinking:

Merlin, that was good advice your friend gave concerning the toast. I plan to memorize it myself. (and good for you, for agonizing over that speech. You're a good friend to do that)

[Pegasus Marsters]

Hehe... Merlin I think you're in danger. Run away.

Now then children, stop bickering. The reason I'm hiding the tattoos is because my grandmother will have a field day telling me how much of a failure I am when she sees them and frankly I'm being a coward about it. Keep them hidden and I stay safe. Score! ;)

And Snowbear! I would not go naked to my own wedding O_O

[LisaJaney]

...but you COULLLLLLD, Pegs -- you COULD! Sometimes just knowing that is freeing enough, without ever acting on it.